Meetings and greetings
Published by Jedi July 31st, 2006 in IndiaI realize this has dragged far too long now. I was very upbeat about this ‘India series’ when I started, like so many other things in life, but I found it getting harder by the day as I moved from one day to another. Sometimes you find it hard to live through an experience again, especially if you miss home or feel increasingly frustrated that you are not closer to your loved ones. Also, there are times when you find it hard to contain yourself and would like to ramble on and on about the most trivial thing, and then after a long thought just shy away from it. Perhaps, also with a view to not bore others to death, not that I haven't possibly done that already. But since I started it and pursued it so long I might as well finish it.
Day 23 in the motherland and its time for the dreaded meet I have been harping on about. As much as I wasn't looking forward to it anymore, I was anxious to find out how it would turn out. Mmm.. maybe more curious than anxious! As I already mentioned we hadn't been on speaking terms for a long time now. I'm not sure who imposed this ‘no-speaking ban’, but in all probability it must have been me. I'm the sort of person who's quite lenient with the people I care about, but hate it when people treat that as a license to do or say what they want. And there is only so much you can do to support a relationship, only so many times try and put aside your ego and be the first to patch up and forgive the other person knowing full well that its all their fault. I'd like to think of myself as forgiving and kind-hearted in the end (like all higher beings are :P) but lets face it, there are times when I'm at the end of my tether too.
It was an uncomfortable experience for both of us, but luckily we were not meeting alone so it was much less awkward than it could have been. No pleasantries were exchanged, no words spoken, no eye contact made to begin with. It was beginning to seem all too familiar. And then slowly I guess you get comfortable in each others company. Remarkable how fast this happens. She says something to the third person when its actually directed at you and you say something else to a fourth person even though she is the intended target. Now, depending upon how intelligent you are, this can be done in a very very subtle manner, while the people around you don't have the slightest clue about what's going on. Some of it is so childish though. Like trying your best not to laugh or even worse pretending you are laughing at something else when the other person says something funny. Or you pass on that bottle of water to the other person while looking in the opposite direction and so on. I laugh when I think about it. It all seems very childish and stupid but I've seen people of all types and ages do it.
Anyhow no matter how mad you are at the other person, it gradually takes a backseat and you start remembering all the good times you had in the past, all that you shared, especially if it started way back in the childhood days. At the same time I couldn't help but notice how much we had changed. More importantly how much our lives had changed. Time can really create huge boundaries and people who were once treading the exact same path suddenly find their lives taking them in completely opposite directions. I suppose its inevitable but at the same time depressing. One thing however, doesn't change - the fact that you genuinely care about someone. Whether you are bound by circumstance or feel sorry for someone, or share a blood relation with someone, or have shared a lot of your life with them - when you really care about someone, you really *do* care. And although loving and caring aren't mutually exclusive, they are not the same either.
Somehow, I knew how this was gonna end from the very beginning. “You know, you are the worst &%&%%&%* in the world and a ^&*^&*^&* and blah blah too. You know that don't you?” Pause.. “Now c'mon give me a hug!” Its as simple as that! But the effort it takes needs you to be a man of strong conviction (or a Jedi, which is the same :D) So there it was. A small cuddle, I hold her hand, a kiss on the cheek, and it was as if centuries of bitterness never even existed. A new start, yet again!
Apart from the dreaded meeting which didn't turn out not bad at all in the end, this day was mostly uneventful. Went out in the evening to do a quick survey of what else had been built around the jEDI residence. There is something else like a mall that too is taking over Delhi these days - the sweets shop. And I don't mean the usual Aggarwals at the corner. I mean these huge multistorey Haldirams and Bikanervalas. Whats the deal with that? Obviously, these places don't only sell sweets but all kinds of snacks imaginable along with all kinds of weird “Indian Chinese†stuff. More on the sweets and other sweet stuff in the next post.
jEDI
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Hey mate !
Who is this female about whom you talk about with such profound feelings?
Bikanerwala/Haldirams…the mall culture is taking over, eh? I don’t know man. By the time we are middle aged, maybe all those poor little shops around the corner would be gone, out of business, ka-pooot !
Isn’t the little childish interactions with the shopkeeper “kakas” that we remember amongst memories of childhood? The times when getting a 50-paisa or a one rupee coin from mom to go buy chocolates elated me much more than getting my 5-figure paycheck these days. The largest of the Dairy-milks wont be the same as the little 5-paisa peppermints that my great-grandma got for all us little cousins whenever we came to visit my grandma in the summer vacations. She died five-six years ago and in many ways she was like my paternal grandma (who died earlier this year)…active till her very last breath…
No one’s ever bought me a peppermint after that…….
I’m so glad you patched up with the person you talk about. I have a lot of patching up to do with a lot old mates I knew myself. I havent ever left a friendship with a sour taste but I’ve dropped out of touch of so many people now and that makes me hate my job even more coz I know it is responsible for the rift.
Superb post, man. Someday, I hope to write a good gripping post like that myself. The last one I remember was what I wrote on Swades which was ironically my first real post on my blog. You can find a link to it on my sidebar. Please do leave a comment on it.
-PeAcE
–WiTh
—GuNs
Yes, it takes efforts to let go of your ego and take the first step in situations like this..
Many relationships are broken for the want of those efforts! I am proud of you that you took that one little step that was needed!
Hmm.. now when I think of it, we do have a few multistoried sweetshops too.. they’ve been here since long.. and trust me, they serve the best pani puri!
:P 
And gweeggly (quickly) post the rest of the days too!!!
:) 
-NiRwA
:P
I am in such absolute agreement with every sentence there that really there’s nothing to comment on. Totally my thoughts man.
That, and I wish I could copy-paste that first para on my next post.
Quite a delight to read a post where everything hits home.
Cheers and keep them coming!
Karan!
Hey..
Bloghopped here through Nirwa’s Blog..
Meeting Old Pals whom you’ve left somewhere down those memory lanes of childhood or college days is really touching sometimes.
Hope you patched up well with your friend..
Very Nice Post.
TC
Manish
Mmmh. So the meet ended in a good time eh? I had a similar experience (and you’ve already abt it) on my blog
Man, you are spending way too many days in India - I cant wait to read your coming back
- will make me feel better.
S
@Guns: She’s the international woman of mystery!
Yes, I completely understand where you are coming from regarding the goodies we got from our parents and grandparents during childhood and how exciting it was. My granny used to get me stuff and love me a lot too. We were both quite attached to each other since I spent most of my early childhood days alone with her. She is one person I really miss in my life. More about that in a separate post..
Yes, sadly our lives do take us in different directions and we lose touch. But the fact that we do think about such people shows we care. As, soon as I’m done with the pending comments I’m heading to your blog to read about Swades
@Nirwa: Its good to take the first step I agree. But I have taken this first step for the zillionth time. There are times when the patience simply runs out. However, as I say if one truly cares about someone (or is bound by some other means) sooner or later you find yourself back again. Well, for now its all nice and sunny, but tomorrow it could be back to square one. And each time you receive a setback the drift goes. There will come a time when the patching is very difficult or whatsmore pointless.
jedi
@Karan: Isn’t it amazing how one can identify with personal experiences of others and the situations others were in? Feelings! We share so much in common after all. Thanks for the comment mate! Comments like that inspire me to continue writing..
@Manish: First of all welcome to my blog. Yes meetings schoolmates, childhood friends, old pals is really exciting. Sitting together, remembering the ol’ times.. great fun!
Thanks for the comment. Do keep visiting.
@Supremus: Yes, I remember reading about your experience. Its a great feeling to get the awkwardness out of the way, and be the same ol pals again.
Hmm.. Yes, that could be it!
I’m staying too long in India? Hmm.. All this time I thought I was being lazy, but maybe its something else! Maybe I *don’t* want to come back!
jedi
Jedi tum aage badho, hum tumhare saath hai!
*I meant for the next day!*
aha! so you’re talking about the emotion called abhimaan, which doesnt have an exact english word to explain the same….anyways yes many a time people transform into lil kids by the acts they indulge in just to prove how offended they are, unwitingly proving to b foolish at the same time…..nontheless happi to know that whoever it was you patched up with her, putting behind all bitterness……all’s well that ends well:D
@nirwa: Based on your special request Mein aage badh gaya!
@ashmi: Yes, I’m happy things turned out good in the end, which I somehow felt they would from the start. The world is a better place for that!
jedi
Hey Rads,
I remember being in a somewhat similar situation and know exactly what u’re talking about! Its a bit awkward,
a bit strange..but then its not as bad as it seems at first! Totally agree with what you say about caring for
a person, yeah..that never changes.
Really well written..I could feel the emotions in your words
Keep Writing,
Neha
Neha,
Good to see you. Yes I agree, its quite awkward. Thanks for the comment.
Glad you made up with your friend. Bitter relationships with ur friend can really drag u down.
SS: Yes, I am glad too.